Fictional Lives

I have this problem when I read a book that I completely transform into that world and experience temporary depression and longing for that life; even the sad ones.
The same thing happens with movies, but not necessarily that I want that exact life, but the cinematography and picturesque imagery; I want to see that. I want my life to include those moments of awe but it never seems to be the same. Things are always better in movies.

Well, undoubtedly things are always better in movies. When does a boy ever show up at your house in the middle of the night and appologise? Usually a phone call is the sweetest gesture.
All those romantic things like walking on the beach, 'running away', it's never the same.

I recently came across this band, The Neighbourhoods on Youtube. They're amazing. And now they music videos and the lyrics are causing the same affect on me. I long for that life that they sing about and show, as it represents youth or rebellion and I feel like I'm wasting mine away.

It's like some sort of nostalgia when those moments are reinacted in my life but yet it's not the same. Perhaps it's dissappointment for the high expectations and then maybe I deserve it for having such unrealistic high expectations.

And I can't help but feel I will never be satisfied with my life because it's not like a music video. Or maybe I need to stop over thinking it and merely get lost in all the moments I have. Yes.

Leap of Faith

Writing is my absolute passion. I wanted to do journalism but it seems like every 3rd person I know wants to do that and I so I think I'll stick to it as a hobby. Nevertheless, here is a story I wrote only a few weeks ago.

My heart pounded. My chest moved with every breath I took against my loose cotton shirt. My braid had loosened and strands of my hair whipped across my face from the wind. My sneakers slid across the tiny rocks at every step. The only sounds were the waves crashing far below us and my heart pumping in my ears. I didn’t dare look down.

I peered up from my feet to look at him as he guided me across the cliffs edge. He must have noticed my sudden stillness because he turned around to face me, cocking his head to the side in confusion. The last light of the sun lit up half his face and the wind tugged on his black t-shirt; outlining his body. His stare suddenly made me feel nervous so I moved my eyes back to my feet. He tugged at my hand pulling me closer to him, making me look at him. He didn’t say anything. He just looked at me; reassuring me, before he turned back around and continued along the rocks towards the peak of the cliff.

I wasn’t sure why he brought me here. In fact, I don’t remember how this idea came up, but it felt right. I was almost in a trance. I would follow this boy anywhere. Heights were my ultimate fear but yet the idea of possibly falling didn’t matter. I didn’t want to be anywhere else. The view sure as hell was beautiful though. Dangerous things tended to be beautiful. He was beautiful.

The wind became stronger and the sky began to darken. We were almost at the peak. But then what? The rocks became steeper and harder to climb but he walked with ease. I held on to his hand tighter as the cliff became thinner and the edge closer. The rocks were smooth and slippery against my shoes. We were metres away from the peak when my shoe slipped along a steep rock. I screamed, my fear becoming me, as my body slipped with my foot. His arms clasped around my body before I could hit the rocks, and later possibly the water.

“Are you okay?” he whispered in my ear as he steadied me back to my feet. I couldn’t even speak. My eyes were stuck on the water below. He turned my body around to face his and held my face in his hands. “Are you scared?” I nodded. “Why?” he asked.
“I’m scared of falling.”
He closed his eyes for several seconds, a slight smile forming on his lips. He opened his eyes and the smile vanished.
“Jump”, his expression was strange, weak almost. As if he were pleading. I was confused. Were we cliff jumping? Would I survive? I didn’t move. I stared at him confused, not leaving my gaze from his.

“Why?” I asked.
“Do you trust me?” he whispered.
His expression was sincere and his eyes made me want to shatter into a thousand pieces. “Yes,” I whispered.

He pulled my face closer to his. My body tingled as he moved his lips on mine. My eyes closed. My body was still, my arms dangling by my sides. His lips were soft, heavenly. He pulled his lips from mine and pressed our foreheads together, my eyes still closed. He took a deep breath and sighed heavily, his hands still holding my face. I breathed in his breath; my favorite scent and opened my eyes. We stood gazing for what seemed like forever, a comfortable forever, before he slid his hands from my face and on either side of my shoulders. Without dropping our gazes, I felt a tug and we started to fall to the water below. The wind pulled at my skirt and tugged at his shirt as we slid past the pale orange rocks. I didn’t even scream. I wasn’t even scared.

Spring

What a better first post than one about Spring; where hayfever prospers and flowers blossom. The one thing I want to do this spring is ride a bike through a large park overlooking the skyline amongst the tall trees and colourful flowers. That's how I imagine being free.
This is my last year of high school. In fact, I have only just over a week before I graduate and finish forever. I can't say I am that sad; tends to be that way after studying day after day and I still have my WACE exams yet. Jolly.
I can't wait to be free. I can't wait to road trip to absolutely anywhere. I won't even plan where I'm going because quite frankly I don't even care. I can't wait to get away. I can't wait to do abolutely whatever I want for three whole months. The beach will be my best friend.
Yes, this is what gets me through exams.